The Testing Begins

At the beginning of our trek home, or at least near the beginning on our walk to Union Station, this afternoon, we noticed what looked like an ice cream cart with people handing things out. Thinking it was some kind of ice cream snack being handed out, we made our way towards it but once I realized that it was not some ice cream treat but instead a new kind of flakie, I turned aside and waited while Stinky T took advantage of the free item. During the remainder of the walk to Union, Stinky T looked over the flakie and decided she did not really want it.

We boarded our train and Stinky T, realizing she still had the unwanted flakie in her hand, decided to place it on a vacant seat expecting someone to come by and pick it up. We both sat there watching the people board the train and notice the solitary flakie waiting for someone to take it. This took a humourous turn as a couple ladies sitting in view of the filled pastry snack looked longingly at it like some look at a lover. We thought for sure one of these ladies were going to break down and grab it but their resolve was stronger than we thought and the flakie remained.

About halfway to the end of the line and my stop, Stinky T detrained and the flakie was still where she left it. I thought this was unbelievable and had begun to think the snack was going to take up permanent residency on that seat. By the time the train reached the end of the line, there were only a couple other people in the coach beside me. Just prior to the train stopping, I had decided I should pick the flakie up and put it in the trash but I did not get that chance. The person occupying the seat beside the treat, who had left it untouched for almost an hour, ended up taking it. I don't know if she ended up just throwing it out but from the way she took it, I fully suspect that she did not toss it to the trash.

As I was preparing to get up and grab the flakie and take it to the trash, I noticed a coat on the seat and I knew what was coming. Seconds after my observation, this mystery lady picked up her coat and then bent down and picked something else up. Of course it had to be the flakie but assuming things makes an ass of pretty much everyone (you know what I'm talking about) so I needed visual confirmation. I had to see it to believe it (or not see it in this case). My eyes, unless they deceived me for that split second, rested on nothing but the blue corduroy of the seat. The flakie was finally taken.

It is too early in the testing stage to come to concrete conclusions but I am going to go out on a limb here (did I put enough cliches in this post yet?) and say that even though a flakie is irresistible, the need to not be perceived as cheap is greater. Had that train been empty sooner, the flakie would never had stood a chance. Once again, perception proves to be everything.

We have ideas for further testing, once we get some funding from the government ($500,000 should suffice), we can begin to test some more elaborate cases but until then we may start our monetary test, starting with a twenty-five cent piece (or a quarter if you prefer).

I Went With A Virgin

Today, since I had the day off work, I went to purchase my new phone and as the title suggests I went with Virgin Mobile as my service provider. The sales person was quite helpful as well, unlike the lady who helped me the first time around with Bell. She did not push me towards any monthly plans but instead told me flat out that it is best not to get any plan if I am only using the phone in emergencies. I resisted the urge to highlight Bell's inadequacies here.

My wife wanted to update her phone so I set out to buy one for her too in hopes of striking some sort of multi-phone deal. I was prepared to reduce that to only one phone if there was no deal to be had and I was not treated appropriately. The sales associate made it quite clear that there was no deal to be had but since the rest of our interaction was as honest (and the phones were so cheap) I continued to buy the two. Each phone is the same model, however, one phone is all black while the other phone is white with a touch of black.

I left the kiosk happy with my purchase and excited that I didn't spend the anticiapted $500 for two phones when I spotted a jewelry store (I knew it was there, it was there on the way in too). Ordinarily a thought of buying something that sparkles for my wife would only flash through my mind but since I had a budgeted surplus after the phone purchase and I have been wanting to buy a locket for my wife for a few months now, I finally made the effort to do it. This time that thought took hold and next thing I know I am staring at a display of lockets trying to decide which one my wife would like best. I finally decided on what turned out to be the biggest one (big enough so the picture can be seen without magnification) and, with the budget all but consumed, I left the mall.

Once at home, I wasted no time in opening the phone, powering it up, activating it and playing around with it. Even though it is an object of my hatred, it was still fun to play around with a new toy. It has pained me all day not opening my wife's phone too. So far it has remained tauntingly in it's package beside the computer where I have spent about 75% of my day. The only thing holding back my urge is my stronger hatred of waste. My wife's current phone still has time on it so I want her to use that time up before her new phone is activated. The day is still young yet so anything may happen. So far I am pleased with my decision and I hope my view does not change.

Toronto Icon Dead at 92

Honest Ed Mirvish, the man responsible for saving the Royal Alexandra Theatre from demolition, died early this morning at St. Michael’s Hospital. Despite all that, he is perhaps best known for giving away turkeys at Christmas time at his discount store Honest Ed’s. He was truly a hero of his times and his death will be felt by many.

Edwin Mirvish
July 24, 1914 to July 11, 2007

Beaten into Submission

I absolutely detest telephones, both traditional land lines and cellular phones, and, other than a brief two year period, I have avoided using cell phones. I didn’t want to buy the cell phone when I did either but my situation at the time created a need for one. At that time I was separated from my wife, although we were not married at the time, and the cell phone made things easier, even though I rarely used it. When my wife finally moved to the area, I kept the phone active but I barely used it. Only about a year or so ago, I let my phone become inactive.

Now that I have a child in day care and I rely on public transit to get to and from work, the need for a cell phone is growing. Despite some train cancellations and delays in my first two weeks back to work, I refused to buy a new cell phone. Yesterday, after my baby’s temperature reached 103F (39.9C for us Canadians) and the day care was frantically trying to get him out of the centre, my wall of refusal has cracked. I was out of the office and did not get the message left by the day care so I was unaware of the situation when I picked my son up. This all occurred too late for us to pick him up any earlier than usual anyhow but it is a little disconcerting not knowing what is going on with my son.

On top of that issue, my wife and I do not see each other every day most weeks so it is hard to co-ordinate things and communicate any issues or share joyful events. She mentioned to me that I should have my phone activated or get a new one and at that time, I shot down the suggestion. Now, it is time for me to reconsider. ‘In the immortal words of the doors: The time to hesitate is through!’ (quote from Empire Records). Starting today I must commence my search for the best phone company and decide on the plan or prepaid service to use.

By the way, my wife took my son to a clinic last night and had his eyes, ears, nose, and throat checked out. Nothing seems awry in any of those. The doctor’s diagnosis is a common cold. My son is going to see one of our doctors today to confirm the first opinion (our doctor works in a clinic with three other doctors so it is a crap shoot as to which doctor we get to see).

We Waited for What?

On Friday, my son had his appointment at The Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto regarding his hands and feet. Since the appointment took a year to schedule, I figured we would be waiting most of the day before we were actually seen by a doctor so I was forced to use half a days vacation for the appointment. Much to my surprise, we only had to wait 45 minutes in the waiting room and another ten to fifteen minutes in another room before the doctor and his shadow (a University of Toronto student) arrived. As I predicted, it took only fifteen minutes for the doctor to look over my son and come to his surprising decision. Nothing was to be done to my son's feet. For his hands, we need to see a plastic surgeon.

Timing is Everything!

An incident occurred today at lunch that was a little disconcerting. Parts of the office are not only cold but also have a continuous blast of cold air being pumped into them. A request to have the air ducts checked in the room must have been made because towards the end of lunch a repairman came in to take a look. He was grumbling and mumbling things to himself as well as explaining to us some possible issues. Everything was fine until I heard what I thought was “you can only take so much”. At that the term ‘going postal’ came crashing into my head so I quickly collected my remnants of lunch and all but ran out the door. The repairman seemed to be in fine spirits and gave no impression he was on the verge of snapping but after a comment like that, it just seemed like the time to leave.

Where'd It Go?

When one leaves work at the end of the day, they expect things to be as they left them when they return the next day. Since humans are forgetful by nature and in an office environment, frequently forget to return small items when borrowing them for an urgent issue, we can understand when a pen goes missing, some post-it notes, and we can even understand if a stapler goes missing.

This morning a co-worker returned after a week-long absence to find something missing. From all accounts, his writing materials were still where he left them, his stapler didn’t grow legs nor did anything else of the sort disappear during his vacancy. None of the typical items borrowed in a rush and not returned were missing, nope, the item was one that is not expected to disappear no matter how long the absence is. The item that my co-worker found absent was his mouse. I am not a computer genius or anything but I don’t think computers require more than one mouse to operate. I guess we can chalk this up to one of life’s great mysteries.

I’m Not a TTC Skidaddler

Don't forget your ticket when I open up the door-
Kindly make your way along the aisle
I'll drive ya down to work and I'll safely bring ya back
And I'll try to render service with a smile

Last night I decided to stay downtown to check out a Jays’ game and spend the night at my sister’s place in Toronto. The game was not very exciting but the night was rather enjoyable overall. This morning I woke up feeling refreshed and ready to take on the TTC commuters. It was my luck, or so I thought, there was a downtown express bus that operated close to where I was. Sure it was an extra $2.25 but it was faster (not that I am in a big hurry to get to work or anything) and supposedly empty. Nice!

The three of us (my sister, her husband and I) made our way to the bus stop to wait for the bus. My sister, travelling the opposite way, had to connect to the subway to get to work so when her bus arrived, we said our goodbyes and she was off to work. The two of us who remained had another couple minutes until our bus was scheduled to arrive. Five minutes later the bus still had not arrived. Finally, fifteen minutes after the scheduled arrival time, the bus finally made it’s much anticipated appearance. Even though the bus was late it was still quite empty and despite the noise, the ride to work was not too painful and even with the late pickup, I still managed to arrive at work on time.

I think this experience solidifies the fact that public transit is not for me. The GO train has given me nothing but trouble and even the TTC seems to have a grudge against me. Maybe I am just expecting too much when I expect public transit to run on time and I should just be satisfied with the times I actually do get to work (or home) on time.

I'm a TTC Skidaddler yeah sockit to my big red rattler-
Ya sockit to my big red rattler

*Italics are lyrics from Stompin' Tom Connors song I'm A TTC Skiddadler

Between a Rock and a Fat Man

One day last week, Wednesday I think it was, Stinky T and I grabbed a seat on a homebound train at our usual time. That day, however, the train did not move. The train suffered from what GO Transit likes to call "equipment problems" and everyone on board had to detrain and force their way onto the next train, which was already full.

After a brief period of standing on the next train, we decided to get off and wait for yet one more train so we could grab a seat for the long ride home. The train arrived at Union Station as the previous train was leaving so we joined the herd and jumped on, grabbing a random seat on the upper tier. For those who have never been on a GO train (I am so envious of you), the seats are grouped in fours and are not identically spaced; in other words, some foursomes have more legroom between them. The foursome we grabbed this day had almost no legroom in between. I would say there was less than an inch between my shins and the seat facing me.

I quickly noticed the tight spot we were in and pointed it out to Stinky T but unsuspecting any issues with the tight space, we got comfortable (or as comfortable as one can get on the rock hard seats). The train began slowly filling up and before long I knew someone was going to join our foursome. Since there was next to no legroom, I did not expect anyone too big to sit in front of me but that was not the case at all. I don't even know why I expect people with at least a little intelligence to actually use the train because, other than Stinky T, I doubt anyone has an I.Q greater than a grade schooler does.

Instead of a toothpick grabbing the seat in front of me, I sat there and watched as a man as wide as he was tall decides to cram his tree stump legs into the almost non-existent space. This in itself is not too bad as this type of thing happens frequently to me although most times the person has enough sense to try not to invade my space even though it is usually an impossible task. When this thing first sat down it also made a feeble attempt to follow this practice, that is until someone wanted to occupy the seat beside me. With a past lesson learned, I knew I was going to lose all my leg room if I were to totally move to allow this lady in so I had to keep my one leg pretty much where it was. History did repeat itself this time too. Instead of allowing me to return to the position I was in before, one which seemed fine with this thing seconds before, he quickly swung his legs in basically preventing me from any possible comfort. Instead of giving in to temptation and risking my fist becoming a snack, I got up and found another seat, one that had a plethora of room, which the thing could have easily enjoyed had he not been too lazy to take another dozen steps.

As it turns out, I must have a sign on me somewhere, in some invisible ink only visible to those ignorant people who seem to think my body is a perfect place to test the strength of their purses or bags because once again this morning some biatch tried to force her bag into a spot it didn't fit. After scraping it down my leg and then smashing my leg with it a few times, it finally got under her seat. Then came the newspaper. If I didn't have calluses on my thumb I would have received several paper cuts. Once we arrived at Union station, she repeated the episode with her bag only in reverse and more violently, leaving the newspaper she was reading wherever it happened to land. On the other hand, maybe she left it there to keep her violated coffee cup company for the day. It is too bad there is not about a dozen recycling bins on every platform or she I am sure she would have used one.

Equipment Problems

I fought the urge to call in sick this morning and dragged my sorry ass out of bed. Things seemed to be going as it should as my day began. I left the house on time and arrived at the train station in plenty of time to catch my 6:52 train into Toronto. Nothing seemed awry walking through the parking lot towards the station even though the station was a train short (often times the next train does not pull into the station until my iPod is drowning out the undesirable sounds of public transportation). I was actually quite enjoying the leisurely stroll in the bright sunshine this cool morning, after all it is a Friday. I validated my ticket in the antiquated ticket machine and, after being cut off by a woman who I moved aside for moments earlier so I didn’t cut her off, I started down the length of the platform to the lead car.

After passing the end car I hear the muffled metallic sound of the speakers. These speakers are as effective as talking underwater so I did not hear enough to know what the point of this horrendous screeching was. I get to my destination and occupy a seat. Before I have time to warm up my traveling companion (iPod), an announcement comes over the train’s p.a. system, “This is the 7:11 train and it will be making all regular station stops…the 6:52 has been cancelled due to equipment problems…” Great, I now have to sit in the train for an extra thirty minutes before I am on my way and, even better, the train is going to be standing room only after the second stop. Not much I can do now.

About ten minutes prior to departure, a second announcement spouts from the train’s speakers, we are going to be making an extra stop now. Why not? I am already going to be late as it is, why not stop at every station en route????? So now the train that is usually full has to accommodate the riders of two trains and instead of making fewer stops, we are now going to be making an additional stop. Not sure how the math is going to work out here but hey, what do I know. To come to a quick end, when we arrived at Pickering station (our usual last stop before Union) the train was full and not many riders were able to jump on and at Rouge Hill (the added stop) I don’t even think the train doors opened. What the heck was the point of even stopping????

Sometimes I wonder what GO Transit is thinking. I do feel bad for the conductors though because they are the ones that face the wrath from the riders when they are not responsible for ensuring the trains are in proper working order and most of them are just as annoyed at the delays and cancellations as the passengers. It is time for GO Transit to be held accountable for major service disruptions and the only way that will happen is if we riders voice our concerns to government officials. I plan on writing a letter to my MPP, which I will post here, to highlight this issue in hopes the government will hold GO Transit accountable for avoidable delays like “equipment problems”.