Beware the Fountain of Youth

For fourteen weeks I have been changing diapers and feeding my son without any incidents but my clean, dry record came to an end so early Saturday morning that I thought it was still Friday.

I took my son to the Jays game Friday night but he was not having any fun, nor was he allowing anyone around us to have any fun, so I ended up taking him home halfway through the fourth inning. For those who do not recall the game, Friday’s game was the one that stopped the Jays losing streak at nine games and was the first of two wins in a row. Anyhow, he was so tired when we got home he did not wake up so he went straight to bed. Unfortunately, a short time after I crawled into bed, he decided to wake.

At this point it was around midnight and I was extremely tired but I went to deal with the screaming kid. First order of business, changing his diaper, no big deal, I had changed countless diapers in my time at home that it is almost second nature. This morning was not going to be just a normal morning though. I took off his dirty diaper and reached for a clean one. That is when I heard a strange noise and when I looked down, I saw a yellowish stream projecting from my son. It took me some time to register the event but I finally did and threw a diaper on him and immediately gave myself a once over. To my sheer pleasure, there were no wet spots on my clothing; I escaped the attack unharmed.

Of all the times for this to happen, my son had to pick a time when I was in a zombie like state. I finished changing him, wiped down the change pad and put a sleeper on my son before heading downstairs to feed him. Finally, at two o’clock, I was able to crawl back into the warmth of my bed and sleep with my clean record shattered. I guess it was inevitable so I should just be glad I came out of the incident with a dry shirt.