Get A Little Closer

I’m the type of person who values personal space. Being tall and, to put it mildly, slightly overweight, I take up a lot of space period. It is obvious to anyone who happens to glance my way. The size of my presence is likely even obvious from their peripheries too but lets not give too many people that kind of credit. Now that the stage is set with minimal sentences and all but this one not being a long, drawn out, run-on sentence, I will get to the story.

The morning of yesterday was cold, the hint of snow in the air but as of the start of this story, no flakes had fallen in the ‘Shwa, at least none that I knew of. I had found my way onto the train somehow and took a seat that I frequently occupy (I will not say my usual seat because I am in denial that I have a usual seat on the train) for the morning commute into the big city. Things were going as uneventful as ever, which is the way we like it, when I heard the end door swing open.

With my music already playing its sweet melodies in my ears and my nose in my book, I caught only a glimpse of the person, noticed that he was a fair size and dismissed him as I thought he would walk right on by. I was wrong. Such a small decision as to what seat would be best seemed too tough for this man on this morning. He twitched as if he was going to continue walking then hesitated. Next he looked as if he was going to sit in the foursome across the way from me but he balked there too. That was when I knew what he had decided, maybe even before he did.

You guessed it, he sat right beside me. Why else would I be writing this? Despite the car having more vacant seats then the Cable Box, once know as Skydome, during any Blue Jays game, this man, all six foot something and two hundred or so pounds of him, ignored the many other empty seats and sat right beside me. He seemed to keep his distance when he first sat down but just as I was thinking he was going to give me some space, he shifted closer to me; so close that I though he wanted to be my conjoined twin, connected at the shoulder. It just got worse from there but my arm is starting to remind me of the encounter so I must stop typing now.

Okay it wasn’t that bad but I did receive numerous elbows as he struggled to take his coat off. Why didn’t he take his coat off while he was standing up? you ask. As Kid Rock would say, only God knows why.