Changes

Change – the process of becoming different.

Most, if not all, of us are constantly changing or have, and at the very least, we all have gone through one major change in life. Many people actively seek to change themselves in some way, usually for the better, or at least, what the person perceives as being better, while most of us change gradually over time without trying or even wanting to, as a result of the events and situations we encounter throughout life. Most of the time change happens without the person even having a clue it has happened until another points it out to them (and they go through the various steps of denial, reflection, acceptance and in some cases a fourth step is needed, that of apology).

Change is seen differently by everyone; some people see change as a good thing; for others change is bad; while still others see change as necessary. Only a few see change as an inevitable consequence or advantage of what TLC calls “Life Lessons” (I’m sure they even have a cute little figure for this topic). I have come to the conclusion that no matter how one sees change, one cannot successfully alter their self while actively trying to, others will not allow it.

Throughout life, each decision helps shape one’s inner being, character and attitudes towards everything. Each successive decision is based on precedents set by previous decisions as well as any new variables (except in the justice system). These decisions in turn shape and reshape the person and over time creating a reputation. This reputation, built up over time, will be strongly held in the conscious minds of others that any attempt to change this perception will be met with criticism. There are even some clever cliché’s made about this: “a leopard can’t change it’s spots” is one that I heard recently.

With this type of attitude from others why should one even try to change? Even though change is always happening ‘behind the scenes’, change seems to be an impossible task for someone to consciously attempt. If any of you know someone who is trying to change something about them, please be as encouraging as possible and try not to send any negative vibes in that person’s direction. Change can happen but it won’t overnight, it is a gradual occurrence so be patient and don’t make it harder for the person with your negative comments.